“They” Are Evil

Yep, I’m gonna do it again.  Another message from the heart of this Mommy Blogger!!!  So, I have been noticing in the last few days (not that there has been an increase necessarily, I’ve just been noticing it more lately) people questioning their own ideas based on what “THEY” say.

Now, to some this may seem like “no ones business” or “just leave it alone, it’s not your place”.  Um, I am a mommy blogger, I may not have a HUGE following, but, people DO read what I write.  THAT makes it my place to say… WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!

Being a mom, wife, father, husband… they are all tough jobs, and they come with plenty of critics.  No matter WHAT you do in life, someone is going to have an opinion different than yours.  Add in that “They” seem to have an opinion on EVERYTHING, and it’s maddening trying to keep up with what the next “expert” has to say.

Moms & Dads… I’m talking to you right now.  Cloth diapers, or disposable diapers???  Homemade baby food or store bought baby food???  Breast-feeding or formula feeding???  Homeschooling, Private school, or Public school??? How about to vaccinate or not vaccinate???  The debates go ON and ON.  Whatever it is you are doing, smile, hold your head up high and know that you are doing what is BEST for your family.  The reasons are no ones business really.  If you feel the need to explain, do it with your head held high, knowing you chose to do what you are doing for the good of your family.

Now, to those of us who are advocates for certain controversial topics, let us be kind, let us give knowledge, but ultimately–not be pushy.  Decision making for parents is hard enough, let’s not add to the stress, but rather lift up those parents and back up their decisions.  We are all in this together… let’s not make parenting a competition.

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The “Perfect” Mistake

They key to my life lately has been all about being REAL.  Real in the sense that, I am a human, I am a woman, I am a wife, I am a mom… I MAKE MISTAKES.  Mistakes are allowed, learning from them is paramount. So, since this weekend has been a learning experience and I have realized yet another “mistake” I am bringing it to you, my readers.

I don’t talk about every mistake I make (there are SOME private things in my life) but, this is important.  This could change the way some of you view your own lives, and it is my hope that this blog touches at least 1 life.

Being the mom of a “strong willed”, “special needs”,  fill in another “appropriate” title here, toddler has changed me, and NOT in a good way.  Every thing felt like routine… gone amuck.  The days felt like they would DRAG and while everyday was the same, there was NO structure.  I have been wracking my brain for about 14-15 months trying to make sense of all of this, trying to find the “solution” to the “problem”.  I was doing the only thing I really knew how to… I was in survival mode.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy, and LOTS of things make me happy.  It isn’t a lack of “happiness” but more of a feeling of undeserved happiness since I was constantly feeling like I was failing.  Failing as a mom, failing as a wife, failing as a business woman, just in general I didn’t feel like I deserved happiness because I didn’t have the “cookie-cutter” life that I felt I need to prove I was capable of living.

This literally changed about 2 hours ago.  YES, you read that right… 2 hours ago I was still trying to find the best organizational system, the best schedule, the best…  Let me just stop right there.  Some of you reading this… I’m in your life right now.  You know how EXHAUSTING it is to just breathe when you feel like you are responsible for EVERYTHING and NOTHING is going right.  You wake up just as tired as when you went to bed, DREADING every moment because you KNOW it will all go to hell before the day is over.

That has been Every. Single. Day. for the last 14 or so months.  NO MORE!!!  I’m done.  I’m done trying to fit into the “perfect” box.  My 2.5 year old is hyper, and creative, and NEVER. STOPS. GOING.  She is smart, and beautiful, and has a helpful heart.  I was squashing that.  I was sooo busy trying to raise the perfect child I was forgetting how AMAZING she really is.  I cried when I thought about all I was squashing.  It broke my heart.  It breaks my heart that I have given up the last 14 months to something I will NEVER achieve the way I want to.  My perfect box will NEVER happen, life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, my kids aren’t perfect.  “PERFECTION”is a state of mind and if I continue to chase after someone else’s “perfect” I’ll only drive myself into the ground.

So, there will be “structure” but not perfection.  I WILL spend time (not just a few minutes here and a few minutes there) with the girls and I will cherish it.  Life is short and time goes fast.  My littles won’t be so little soon and I don’t want to waste any more time trying to figure out ways to help them. It is hands on from now on, and I’m looking forward to it.

Do you suffer from “perfectionism”???

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A Time To Get REAL.

I’m excited to post my First blog post of this new year… halfway through the month of January.  Okay, getting real here.  Lots has been going on and I have overwhelmed myself… but no more.

I’m getting real with you all because it seems no matter how hard I try to be “real” I have the thought of what my readers want, and what I want my readers to want, and therefore, I end up NOT being myself.  I put unrealistic expectations on myself as a mother, wife, blogger, business owner… yeah pretty much EVERY area.  So, at this point, I give.  I know that my blog, and this part of my life will be so much easier and more fun for EVERYONE if I just say… I’m not perfect.  My family eats food, not whole or “real” food all the time, and not even home cooked food all the time, but we eat.

I have been trying to get myself in gear for the new year, and honestly, the holidays wiped me out.  I’m exhausted and feel like I’m treading water STILL trying to catch up from over a month of craziness.  The craziness was good, but now it is back to business.  I am not going to outline any posts for the year.  It will be something interesting or different or funny everyday.

Are there things that YOU need to Get Real about???

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Top 5 Tuesdays: Christmas Traditions

It has been a while since I have done one of these, and, I miss it.  So, for today’s Top 5 Tuesdays we will be exploring the world of Christmas traditions.
My favorite of our family’s traditions are:
1. Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving.  I’ve always figured since it can be a lot of work (in our place even just getting to the Christmas decorations) I want to enjoy it as long as possible.  It also makes the Thanksgiving holiday feel a bit longer (I love longer holidays)
2. Baking Christmas Cookies.  This year, I let Kira pick out a cookie mix and some day later this week we will make cookies.  We are also making a Rice Crispy Treat Train.  Easier for us to make and still plenty fun to decorate.
3. Advent Calendar.  Now this one may make you laugh a bit.  When I was young, I can remember having an advent calendar.  It was cloth and had pockets, inside each pocket was a slip of paper with something fun to do leading from Dec 1st- 24th.  Now, in order to keep this short and sweet I will just say I attempted something like this, however, we are still a bit young to actually do most of the things I’d like to… so while it isn’t something we are currently doing… I loved it as a child, and plan on doing this with the girls as they get older.  (I promise I’ll blog later this week about the whole story)
4. Christmas Eve PJ’s & Movies & Stockings Oh My!!!  I had read the Christmas before Kira was born (she was about 12 weeks in development at that time) about a tradition of Christmas PJ’s and a Movie to open on Christmas Eve.  We have done this since her first actual Christmas.  It is fun to get new jammies and watch a couple fun movies, then they get to hang their stockings and leave out Cookies and Milk, then head to bed so Santa can come.
5. The Night Before Christmas Bear.  We were shopping around Christmas time (Kira was about 4 months) and we were strolling through Christmas (Have I ever mentioned I LOVE Christmas???) and we came upon this bear.  He was all dressed up, super cute, and he recites THE ENTIRE poem of The Night Before Christmas.  He came home with us that day. For 2 Christmases and now this coming will be he 3rd, he comes out just before bed while the kiddos are getting ready to snuggle in for the night, and he “reads” The Night Before Christmas to the kids. So much fun.
So there you have it.  My Top 5 Christmas Traditions.  What are your favorite traditions???

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Pay It Forward: Buy One, Give One

It is almost that time of year.  Miss Kira is already running around the house talking about what she wants for Christmas… Wait, what???  You’re 2 kid.  However, for many families, Christmas is NOT a happy time.  Many parents struggle to even get food on the table and keep clothing on their kiddos, and for these families, Christmas is full of stress & heartache.  In an effort to Pay It Forward, Adventures of “But Mom” is joining with Stickman Stew & the Gold Heart Crew to make this Christmas a happy one for some special children.

“Who is Stickman Stew?” you may ask.  Stickman Stew & The Gold Heart Crew are 4 plush, bendable, posable stick figures.  They do not require batteries and are powered by children’s imagination.  Each figure has a Gold Heart as a reminder of the one thing we all have in common, and they bring with them the important message of respect & empathy to the lives of the children who receive them.

Meet The Crew

STICKMAN STEW is a peaceful and gentle soul who helps his friends be the most kind they can be. He spreads respect and love everywhere he goes. Stew loves to sing karaoke and dance.

STICKGAL SAL is a warm and caring gal. She is a good friend that will always be there to hold your hand. SAL loves to give hugs and read people their fortunes.

STICKKID SID is a prankster who loves to play jokes and make you laugh. His big imagination and high jinks can get him into trouble at times. SID often hides in small spaces where he accidentally falls asleep.

STICKGIRL SHIRL is a quirky and curious girl who loves to daydream and encourages others to do great things. SHIRL is always wishing on shooting stars and talking to furry animals.

This year Adventures of “But Mom” is proud to join with Christmas in Huntertown, to bring toys to families in the North Eastern Indiana area.

About Christmas in Huntertown:


Christmas in Huntertown 2014 is a Christmas outreach ministry sponsored by Huntertown United Methodist Church. This year we celebrate our sixth Christmas in Huntertown event in which, we share the true Christmas spirit, gifts, time and joy with our community. This special time of year resonates throughout Huntertown.

The Huntertown United Methodist Church and its Outreach Clothing Ministry are busy preparing to help over 300 families that have been referred through local area agencies, schools and churches throughout Allen County, and surrounding counties.  

How Do I Help???

Check out the Stickman Stew website and Buy One, Give One.  Buy 1 or all 4 of these adorable toys for the children on your own list, each doll is under 10.00.  For every ONE you purchase, Stickman Stew will donate one to one of the charities, YOU PICK!!!  Buy all 4 and 4 get donated.  That is truly simple and an AMAZING way to Pay It Forward this Christmas.  
Let’s help Santa this year and make some kiddos very happy this Christmas!!!

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Humble Pie, Anyone???

So when I left you last, I was UBER excited about the 5 day elimination diet.  Confession: It never even lasted 1 day.  On the way to the store “But Dad” and I were talking about the diet and he basically said he DID NOT even wanna try it.  So, my list, my plan, all out the window.  While at the store, I began to search for thing he could eat and then the stuff on the elimination diet as well.  I got it all home, and was so proud and excited.  The next day, I planned to get food for him pre-cooked, as well as my chicken breasts cooked.  I got 1 of the 2 full chickens in the oven to roast, and I made 45 scrambled eggs to get us through a little over a week between the hubs and kiddos I was going to get to the chicken breast, really, I was, but by the time I got everything done, and started working on the clean up I was too exhausted to keep going… I’ll cook them tomorrow.

Monday morning: Day 1.  I woke up, made my first cup of green tea, and started my day.  I wasn’t coffee, but, it wasn’t bad.  I also drank 20 oz of water first thing, and then got another 20 oz cup of water to keep with me.  I got the kids up, and got them breakfast.  I then started on mine.  I couldn’t find rice cereal, sooo I figured gluten free oatmeal would be a close second.  I made my oatmeal and was eating my Almonds and Pumpkin Seeds.  I ate about half my oatmeal (I think I made too much, it said 1 cup, my guess though is 1 cup prepared is what you get when you follow the direction for 1 serving… not one cup dry… oops) and started getting a wicked headache.  Not my normal stress or what not headaches… this was all over the place.  I made it through Kira’s first OT appointment without passing out, then I got the kids lunch and after I put them down for naps, I took a nap.

When I woke up, the headache was still there. I got up took some Tylenol, ate some “real food” (frozen chicken parm) and within about 30 minutes my headache was starting to go away.  It was then that I officially gave up.  I’m sure it was probably withdraws from the detox.  I’m sure if I had stuck it out another day or 2 I might have been feeling amazing.  However I never have been great with delayed gratification (just being honest here) and I had a crazy week and couldn’t be “out of it” for even 1 more day.

So, I write to you my story of how AWFULLY I did on my elimination diet while drinking a Pepsi (hey it’s the diet, caffeine-free kind) and eating a Hershey’s Kiss.  My kinda Humble Pie!!!

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